Showing posts with label haiku. Show all posts
Showing posts with label haiku. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

harry potter haiku #8

Just when you thought your dreams of a haiku-less existence were finally coming true:

Some dragon smuggling
(Hagrid's a bad influence)
leads to detentions

I solemnly swear that this is the last Hagrid-bashing I'll do for a while.

Forbidden forest
something's killing unicorns
centaur saves Harry

Stay tuned because sometime in the next year I'll finish the first book and move on to Chamber.



Sunday, July 17, 2011

harry potter haiku #7

Faithful readers will recall that I enthusiastically started a series of haiku honoring Harry Potter which I abandoned with a decided lack of enthusiasm when life got to be so life-ish.  I left off when I was still using Sorcerer's Stone as my inspiration, so that's where we are again.

Loose lips sink ships and
Hagrid's always flapping his.
Dude can't keep secrets.

After one tongue-slip,
the gang searches for Flamel
Library fails them.

Let me interrupt the poetry to mention that although Hermione's all a magical genius and stuff, she clearly lacks good research skills.  And I don't just mean the Flamel debacle in book 1.  As my blogging brother pointed out a while back: How in the world could she not have found out about either gillyweed or the bubblehead charm  as underwater breathing options in Goblet?  Are we to believe that the book the fake Moody gave Neville was the only book that mentions gillyweed?  And in Order the bubblehead charm is so well-known and easy to perform that students use it to avoid dungbombs in the corridors, so are we really to expect that it's not in any of the spell books that she reads trying to help Harry?  I love Hermione, but maybe they should have been nicer to Madame Pince.  I guarantee she could have steered them in the right direction.  Librarians are good people.  

Hagrid blabs again
selling out Dumbledore for
an illegal egg.

A baby dragon
that's born in a wooden house
nothing but trouble

Four in a row!  You're on the edge of your seat now, aren't you?  But I'll save the rest for another time.

*****Plagiarizing blogger's note:  I've updated the Hermione as a researcher rant to give proper credit to Shane for his inspiration.  I couldn't handle the pressure of you people thinking that I was smart enough to have figured that out.*****

Friday, May 13, 2011

harry potter haiku #6

Blogger has not been a friend to me lately, but enough of the excuses.

On Halloween night
a troll brings them together
with Hermione.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Saturday, May 7, 2011

harry potter haiku #4

I had a a few written ahead of starting this project, but after this one, I'm caught up.  Now's your chance to pray that my writer's block kicks in and ends this series.

Sorting is stressful
if you don't want Slytherin
but the hat listens.

Friday, May 6, 2011

harry potter haiku #3

The saga continues in poetry.  I'm pretty sure this is the least noticed/responded to thing I've ever written, but I'm not going to let your indifference stop me.  Sorry, friends.


On Hogwart's Express
Harry and Ron are besties.
Ron's nose is dirty.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

harry potter haiku #2

Yesterday, I shared with you the inspiration behind the new series.  Hope you don't hate it already because it's completing my life.

Hagrid breaks the news
but not 'til he's eleven,
he's the boy who lived.




And another--because I can't wait to share this one--that's my favorite so far:


In Ollivander's
Phoenix feather chooses him
a curious choice.

This could take a while to work out of my system.  Patience, please.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

harry potter haiku #1

A few weeks ago at work someone sent me the following in an email:

Fighting Voldemort
from the comfort of this chair
in my library

It changed my world.  How could I never have considered devoting my favorite form of poetry to what is arguably my favorite series of books?  No longer, imaginary readers, no longer will the world have to muddle through a sham of an existence without my contribution to bad Harry Potter poetry.  Today I present the beginning of a new series.  Sometimes I think my long streams of haikus sort of ruin each other.  They're meant to be short, after all.  So for this project, I'll be presenting the haiku one at a time in roughly chronological order.  Today I present a haiku inspired by Sorcerer's Stone.

 On Four Privet Drive
the cupboard under the stairs,
lives Harry Potter.


You feel your life changing already, don't ya?  Stay tuned for more.  I've got a few in the hopper of which I am excessively proud.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

haikus

Seasonally-appropriate poetry:

Wintry weather nears--
More menacing than last time.
Snowpocalypse Eve.

Snow days fill my soul,
but I won't get my hopes up--
burned by that before.
 
Phil said spring would come
Guess the weather is balmy
in Punxsutawney.

Run on bread, milk, eggs.
Attention Kroger shoppers:
French toast goes with snow.

One piece of advice
if Snowmaggedon finds us:
turn into the skid.

Fear not, faithful fans,
Snowfallocaust may provide
guest post tomorrow.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

100 haikus (but not really)

Today's poems mark
my centennial blog post.
Let's celebrate me!

 Faithful fans have hit
almost fourteen thousand times
in less than ten months.

Lots of time wasted
on my rambling. Thank you for
stroking my ego.

 No more numbers talk.
Statistics aren't poetry 
though I love them so.

You keep coming back
even when I don't post much
because you love me.

You are good for me.
I need this validation--
whiny narcissist.

I'd hoped to make this
 post one hundred syllables
but I had more words.

I did consider
a hundred lines instead, but
can't divide by three.

A hundred haikus
seems beyond my skills which are
considerable.

But I will forge on
and see how many it takes
'til I've had enough.

I like the sound of
my own voice (or typing hands).
This could be a while.

Topics covered here
seem varied for your pleasure;
but in truth, for mine.

to boring diaries,

the open letters
that led to my short-lived brush
with internet fame,

tv obsessions
to vacations with the fam
to crafty projects

to blogging soulmates,
the famous FHDM--
we're getting married.

I cry when I write
my five favorite things in
random birthday posts,

probably because
I devote valuable space
to another soul.

I haven't mentioned
my chocolate-covered pretzel
love lately.  My bad.

They're still my main squeeze,
but they haven't been on sale
since last December.

A little known fact:
I think I'm more interesting
than I truly am.

Maybe you'd learned that
in our time together here.
You're humoring me?


Now here's a shout-out
to some special faithful fans
who keep me going.

To cousin, scholar,
theologian, number one
blog fan, a thank you.

You've been telling me
to write more for years, and I
am glad I listened.

To my sweet moma,
who thinks everything I do
is perfect, thank you.

Because of your faith,
I'm the over-confident
braggart writing here.

For my siblings three
and the in-laws too, a thanks
for laughing with me,

for cheering me on,
and giving me the Handful.
They photograph well.

And to the Handful,
Pointer, Bird, Ring, Pinkie, Thumb,
thanks for being cute.

I know you don't read
the blog--and you still should not.
 I might use bad words.

And to the Popster,
who I once accused of not
reading my blog, thanks.

I'm touched that I rate
with Netflix watch it now and
your other dot coms.

For Rob-Bob, thank you
for pithy comments that make
my favorite lists.

To peeps like Hailey,
Mo and Beck and Martha too
your presence pleases.

Maybe other peeps
read the blog too, but they don't
leave me comments.

So, Peeps, if you are
among my faithful readers
I thank you as well.

To Cory the page,
who thinks I'm hilarious
in person or print,

I appreciate
your laughter though I know that
it is very cheap.

For Lacey who does not
comment but reads avidly,
you should drop a line.

To Bill, who comments
as himself now instead of
some celebrity,

thanks for stopping that.
Now learn to spell opinion.
Google will thank you.

And to Jess, who reads
on her phone and makes no comment
but talks to me live,

you listen to me
when I need a sounding board
and keep me writing.

I know there are more
(thanks, Google Analytics)
who read in silence.

Thank you for coming,
imaginary readers,
blogging for you thrills.

Here's to hundreds more!
I'll keep having opinions
if you'll keep reading.

*****Insecure blogger's
question:  Did I go too far?
Are haikus played out?

This blogger hopes not,
or I've just ruined it all.
Tell me I'm funny.*****


I have done my best
to remind you of the great
moments on the blog.

If I omitted
one of your favorite bits,
please chime in below.

 More talk about me
in the comment section here:
icing on the cake!

For those who don't count,
I made it to fifty-three
including this one.

Friday, July 9, 2010

haikus

From the workplace:

Too busy with talk,
TV and cooking but no work
Quack-a-teria

 Am I just touchy
Or is the world full of punks?
Stop being needy.

Construction sounds like
building eating itself. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!
It's a library.

Playing on Webkinz
It's for a program, honest.
Makes me love my job.

Cutest kids ever
pass by the desk but parents . . .
They make me crazy.

Friday, May 7, 2010

haikus

In honor of Mother's Day:

My moma's love is 
huge, but she would love me more
if I had babies.


The problem I often find with haikus is that writing one is never enough.  So here's a series of haiku especially for my moma:

Though I love you much,
I do a mean impression--
the day you pinched me.



You think I'm funny
But you judge me too--when I'm
"not even trying."



I've been poking fun
which isn't too respectful.
You can take it, right?


I bought you a gift
that will make up for meanness.
Happy Mother's Day.

Best moma ever.