Friday, January 6, 2012

approximate rhyme is disgusting and other disproportionately strong reactions

I was thinking today about the crushing guilt I feel over my lack of blogging, and then I considered all the things that are wrong in the world that I'm not fixing and even the things that are wrong in my own life that I overlook with very little consequence, and I decided it was stupid to feel guilty over something so trivial as blogging.  My blogging doesn't save the world, and it's foolishness and wasted time to expend energy or prolonged thought or worry on my lack of posts in the last quarter of 2011.  No one cares, and even if a few imaginary readers have given passing thought to what has become of my work dramas or burger hunts or haikus or even the long-lost open letters, their worlds kept spinning without those crucial updates from me--and will continue to do so even if I never post again.

So I'm no longer allowed to shoulder the burden of entertaining you all.  I'll write or I won't, but I refuse to allow what is a small concern to a very limited number of people be blown out of all proportion because of my own sense of self-importance and secret need for martyrdom.

And with that giant imaginary weight lifted from my shoulders, I can give attention to other ridiculous reactions that I have to things.
  • Approximate rhyme is disgusting.  
  • Combining chocolate and peanut butter is an evil plot to ruin my life.
  • Someone touching my ears will literally kill me.
  • Grown people who use chat or text language on facebook are dead to me.
No, really, I feel this strongly about all these things.  Why?  Because reacting strongly is so fashionable right now.  Have you noticed this?  No one can just have an ordinary like or dislike or preference or mild annoyance.  Everyone reacts in superlatives, and I'm just as bad as anyone, but sometimes at least I catch myself at it and attempt to dial back the manufactured drama of every little thing being the absolute worst or best.  Because honestly?  One two things in the world can be the absolute worst and best, and assigning disproportionate reactions to marginally important things diminishes the value of everything.  Plus it's the most annoying thing in the world--so stop doing it.


  1. Approximate rhyme is wrong. Chocolate and peanut butter are delicious. Touch my shoulders only if you do not value your life. I don't even use text language when I text. My world kept spinning, but I would have really missed you if I had not had you on the phone and in person.

  2. I was actually just talking about this with my kids today. Feeling that strongly about things and describing everything in superlatives puts you in a category with Dickens, and there can't be much wrong with that.

  3. Well, it's fine for Dickens, but it's annoying in general life and usage.


what do you think?