Saturday, July 3, 2010

hijacked

*****Lazy blogger with low standards note:  I didn't write this.  My #1 fan found my laptop sitting unattended during a family weekend together and decided to bring the imaginary readers up-to-speed on my activities.  But I do not take responsibility for the bad writing, which is not really his style, but rather his attempt to mimic my style.  I'm terrified that it's accurate.*****

Hi there imaginary readers,
You might not believe it, but here I am posting up an entertaining and fun post even though it's a holiday weekend and my family is in town.  You see how much I love you.  I'm taking time out of singing "You're a Grand Old Flag" in a rich baritone and marching with my moma to let all of you know that I'm sorry.  I know that I've neglected to post on any number of interesting ideas that the #1 blog fan gave me several weeks ago.  So here's something to satisfy him.  My top five favorite Ka-noo-noo Reeves movies in no particular order.

1. Speed
2. A Walk in the Clouds (Unlike #1 blog fan, I like this movie for reasons that have nothing to do with spicy latina actresses who used to date Ed Norton.) 
3. Parenthood
4. The Lakehouse
5. The Replacements (which I'm not even sure I've ever actually seen all the way through, but you know how I love  sports movies.  Or maybe you didn't, but it's a thing.  I love sports movies.)

This is a long conversation that we all had today.  So how about you imaginary readers?  What are some other good movies from this bad actor?

4 comments:

  1. In no particular order:
    1. Matrix (The first as a stand alone movie)
    2. The Replacements
    3. Speed
    4. Parenthood
    5. Point Break (but only because I have to name 5)

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  2. Let the record show (in case the post title didn't convince you) that the #1 blog fan is responsible for the poor writing and not your beloved author. He practically had my permission, as I discovered what he was doing before it was posted and I let him continue--and I haven't deleted it. I even confirmed my top five Keanu movies. But I'm sure my true fans recognized the lack of quality writing.

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  3. I noticed that Joshua listed three film already listed in his top five, but I thought you or Mac said what are some other good films this bad actor has been in. So I will list some film that have not been named.

    1) Something's Gotta Give. Wonderful Diane Keaton/Jack Nicholson film that is not ruined by Keanu. Diane showed she is at the top of her game with this delightful film that wss written especially for her.

    2) Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. This films actually utilizes Keanue's bad acting to great effect.

    3) Much Ado About Nothing. Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Denzel Washington and William Shakespeare adds up to a great film even with Keanu in the cast.

    4) My Own Private Idaho. Gus Van Sant and River Phoenix add up to one harrowing film. Another case of Keanu 's non acting ability being put to good use in a film.

    5) Tune In Tomorrow. A delightful film about radio soap operas with Peter Falk and Barbara Hereshey. Falk gives one of the best performances of his career in this overlooked gem of a film.

    6) I Love You To Death. Kevin Kline and Tracey Ullman play a Catholic couple where the wife takes the until death due us part of her marriage vows very seriously. Another case of Keanu's "ACTING" ability benefitting the film.

    Sorry, I couldn't limit the films to just five films.

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  4. 1. Matrix (as Josh says, only if it's a stand alone movie)
    2. The Devil's Advocate
    3. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
    4. Speed
    5. Bram Stoker's Dracula

    Really Much Ado About Nothing should be above Dracula, but Ka-noo-noo is so terrible in it that I just couldn't put it on the list even though he's got a small part. Listening to Ted Theodore Logan with a wolverine beard try to deliver Shakespearian lines is not a pretty sight.

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what do you think?